Starting Dec. 2011:
Dec 11: Feel in love and graduated from college and moved to Louisiana.
Jan 11 – June 12: Worked at a plantation and enjoyed southern life, had my heart broken, had a cousin get married
June 12: Moved to Chicago to work for Teach for America
July 12- Aug 12: Tried to find myself in an organization and a city that I was unsure about, Paw Paw is re-diagnosed with cancer, black could surrounds me
Sept 12: Begin working as a middle school math teacher and in the first weeks of school Chicago Teacher’s Union issues a teacher strike.
Oct 12 – Dec 12: struggling with teaching, told I would be fired if things don’t turn around, relapsed into self mutilation and an eating disorder, Paw Paw dies in November from cancer after ending chemo treatments, through till Dec. I began to accept I would be fired
Jan 13 – April 13: Not fired and having more hope in life, students take ISAT, still depressed and struggling with life, find in April my contract will not be renewed and need to decide if I will stay with TFA or not
May 13: On my birthday my Maw Maw (Paw Paw’s wife) has a heart attack and is put on life support, pulls plug and officially dies on May 4th, go to funeral and have my sister ignore me and officially ends any relationship I will have with her (haven’t spoke to her since the wake), decided to leave TFA and seek a job abroad
June 13: Mom comes to visit and help pack up classroom, planning to move to Brooklyn, 1st week of June roommate is violently ill and after a week agrees to go to the hospital, after 8 days in the hospital she is released with the diagnosis of kidney failure and will need to be on dialysis until she has a transplant, after deciding she is family I decide to stay with her in Chicago to support her and put my plans to travel on hold
July 13 to present: looking for a job and thinking what is life of a 24 year old right now.
So that is my life in the past year in a nutshell and can elaborate on more if needed. But in the end after all this bull shit that is life all I can feel is SO ANGRY. I don’t feel sorry for myself or anyone else. We make our choices and we make our lives for the better or worse. The thing is my life is chaotic and when I see and read the news and see the government just putting out bull shit I get pissed. Infuriated. RAGE.
It is one thing for me to have to deal with my shit, it is another to see my country almost give me more shit than I want. So I plan to update the blog now and spew my rage out because I need to have something to let an outlet where I can send this rage out. Cause honestly, if a riot finally happens (and I honestly believe with the current political tension in this country it will happen) I know I will end up in it with a metal rod and a broken down car in from of me. So forgive me or not, but I am an angry southerner who is just pissed.
Care to read if you want. As Lady Sovereign would say, “love me or hate, if you love me then thank you , if you hate me, then fuck you.”
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